March 1 Today I had my first round of chemo with the taxol. I fell asleep during the chemo treatment for about an hour. When I woke up, I was soaked. My entire backside was wet from sweat. The hot flashes are coming on! My mother told me about hot flashes, but I never really understood until now. YUCK! I did well with the chemo. the nurse had to stay beside me for the first 5 minutes or so to make sure I didn't have an alergic reaction to the medication. When I got home my mother had again fixed our dinner for us, she's the best and we all apreciate her so much! I did pretty good the rest of the day just a little tired I think due to the sinus infection, having it for so long and then just being worn out from it.

March 2 Today I got my shot of nuelasta. I didn't do much else was just so tired so I relaxed most of the day. Around 8pm the shot started to kick in. It came early this time, not sure if has anything to do with the Taxol or not, have to wait until the next dose to see. The back of my neck started to ache and my throat got sore and my head started to ache as well. So I went to bed early not anxious about the aches coming in the morning.

March 3 I woke up this morning with aches all over my body. I have gotten used to this knowing that the Nuelasta shot does this to me. Took it easy today and just relaxed. By evening my legs were really sore, more aches than the last times. The nurse told me that the Taxol may cause aches as well so I'm thinking it must be that kicking in as well. She told me it usually starts about 3 days after the chemo. treatment and lasts for a few days. I also found out that the aches from the nuelasta shot aren't as common as I had thought. Most folks get aches, but usually not everywhere, just in the arms, legs or hips. Only a few percentage get them from head to toe and in their throats as I do. That figures! Can I be any more odd?

March 4 Today I woke up and have a pain, not an ache, but an actual pain running through my legs. I can barely walk and it is horrible. The pain shoots through my entire legs and down to my toes. I try the vicadin, but it doesn't do too much for me. Tonight I am to go to get my photos taken for the book I was telling you about. i have my daughter and her boyfriend drive me there because my legs are so sore that I'm afraid to drive. It is nice. There are 5 of us all together and the lady writing the book has 2 make up artists there and they do our makeup. There are 2 photographers too. It is so much fun getting my make up done and getting photos taken of our bald heads. We all felt so beautiful and ya know..... we are. Having no hair doesn't make you any less of a woman, in fact I think it makes you more of a woman in some strange way. A few hours after I'm there, my legs begin to get really sore. I start having hot flashes and get to the point where I feel horrible. They hurry up the last of the photos so I can go home. I had a lot of fun though and it was nice to meet these other women going through different stages of treatments.

March 5 Today my legs are still very sore and I call the oncologist. They give me a perscription for Darvacet to try. I get that in the evening and it doesn't do a whole lot, but eases the pain a bit. My mother comes over with dinner for us again tonight. She has been a great help through all of this and I'm not sure what I'd do without her. Since the hot flashes I usually go bald around the house. This is the first time my mom has actually seen me bald like this. I think it shocked her, but she did well with it. I never really thought about it, the kids and hubby are used to my bald head now that I just don't think about it. I get so hot at home with the wigs, hats, etc. on that I just take them off. Then when I get cold I ususally throw on a turbon. I've been going out in public with a turbon on too. One thing I've learned is that it just doesn't matter to me. Before I cut my hair I told myself that being bald didn't matter, as long as I had my life. but deep down I was afraid that it might really upset me. I don't know if it is cutting my hair on my terms and not letting it fall out on its own or what, but it really doesn't bother me. I don't even notice it anymore. Sometimes in the morning I go to grab my curling iron to plug it in and then I have to laugh.... for what? But being bald has sort of made me a different woman. I feel more freedom and liberated. It is something I didn't expect to feel. I am learning a lot about myself dealing with this cancer.

March 6 Today I woke up and my legs felt so good. The pain was actually gone. By evening the pain started to return and I had to take it easy again.

March 7 Today the pain is back again but only in my right leg. I had quite a few hot flashes today and by late afternoon my left leg was achey too.

March 8 It seems to be in my right leg today as well. Even in the knee. Sometimes when I am walking, a pain will shoot through my knee and it buckles in and I have to grab hold of something or down I'll go. I have to laugh, nothing else to do I guess. You have to see the humor in this or I think you won't get through it. Walking like a little old lady, all bent over, being bald on top of it all....... who'd of thought at my age I'd think of myself as a little old lady. Sometimes when I'm sitting there and I think.... maybe too much.... but I think of what I have learned having cancer. Maybe in some odd way it is a good thing. It has made me more aware of the woman that I really am.

March 10 Today my feet started to peel. I have always had rough, dry skin on my heels and big toes and since the chemo. it has gotten much worse. I use lotion all day long, tried at least 5 differnt brands too, but nothing seems to work. They have started to peel off and it is quite painful. The skin underneath is new and very tender after being calloused for so long and makes it painful to walk.

March 15 Today I had my 2nd dose of chemo. with the Taxol. Talked to the nurse about my feet peeling and she said she thought it was from the first rounds of chemo., but it could be the taxol too. She said she had seen it a few times before. Here I am getting all of the small percentage of side affects from this whole thing. I guess I knew I always a little odd hee hee. She said to keep an eye on it for infection and told me the lotion to try.... have that one and tried it too. She said to wear my socks to bed too, that is going to be hard, waking up with hot flashes all night long, but I'll give it a try. Told her about my pain in my legs too and she said that too happens to a few percentage of folks out there. She said it can be very painful. She gave me an prescription for parcacet to try so I'll get that filled in the morning and go from there. They also gave me the steroids to try the night before and this morning so maybe that will help too. My blood counts were really good so I had my chemo. I got very tired, but couldn't fall asleep so I stayed awake the entire 6 hours we were there. Hubby went to McDonald's again and we ate lunch during chemo. My legs get very restless too while I'm there sitting for so long and I finally got up and stood while getting the chemo. Helped ease the restlessness some. Got home and my mother brougth me enough food to last for about 3 days or so. It is so nice not to have to worry about getting everyone fed during my treatments. The first few days I am so tired and then I ache so much the following few days so it is really nice. Love ya Mom!

March 19 Tonight my cousin brought us some dinner. It was great and so nice not to have to cook yet again. I really appreciate all of the help from family and friends.

March 27Today Alison and I went to the store to get some buns for our hamburgers hubby was grilling. The weather has been so nice lately that we decided to cook out on the grill. When I was pulling into the parking lot a young kid in his 20's was getting into his car. I had on my blonde wig and he must have liked it. He kept staring at me and then he smiled and nodded at me. Upset Alie a bit since she is going to be 20 in a few months and here he is looking at her mom! I thought it was funny and when we got home I had a thought..... I should have yanked off my wig while he was staring. I could just see the look on his face. It would have been so funny.

March 29Today I had my 3rd dose of chemo. Only 1 more to go!!!! I haven't been sleeping the last few weeks. I don't go to bed until around 2am and then get up at 6am so I am just beat. I can't get much done either because I am just so tired, but unable to sleep. The dr. gave me some ambiel to try so I'll try that tonight and see what happens. I slept most of my chemo. treatment today too. I didn't get the prescription last time, the nurse forgot to fill in the quantity of the pills and being a narcotic, the pharmacist wouldn't call them, said I had to get a new prescription. Well, it was Friday and the oncologist had closed so I wouldn't be able to get it filled until Monday. I tried doubling the darvacet and it helped a little more, but was still so sore. I got a new rx and will get it filled tonight!

March 30 I got my shot of neulasta again today. The nurse said I may not need one next time since it is my last round of chemo. I hope so. It will give me a few extra days of feeling better. My daughters took my pics of me in different wigs to show you all too. I hope you enjoy them. You can sort of see how I look, at least my face is the real me. It is fun to have the different looks, I can be a different woman every day and it helps to make it all funner. My hubby likes it too! The shot started to kick in around 10pm tonight, but it wasn't too bad so I skipped the pain medication until about 2:30 in the morning. I woke up and was getting sore so I tried one. Went back to bed. The sleeping pills seem to help a bit. I don't sleep through the night, but at least I am falling asleep and when I wake up I can fall back to sleep with 30 minutes. Before them I would go to bed, fall asleep and sleep no longer than 5 minutes then I was up all night, until around 2am or so. Last night I started to cry too. This has been happening the last few treatments as well. It must have something to do with Taxol. I get really emotional about it all and cry Friday and Saturday. Hubby always tries to comforts me and he reminds me I only have 1 more round to go, that I'm almost done. Alison caught me crying this time and she hugged me, which always makes me cry even more! She asked if it was the chemo making me emotional and I told her I thought it was since it is usually the few days after that I cry. She laughed and said now I'm like Grandma! My mom has been so emotional since I got cancer too. I feel more sorry for her than I do me, I hate to see my loved ones feeling so down.

March 31 Woke up this morning with the worst headache. My eyes are dizzy too. I got that hangover feeling again. Doesn't look like I'll do too much today either. Hard to do anything when you're achey and dizzy and "hungover". I got some new bubble bath that I'm going to try too. It is for aches and pains in the muscles and joints. Maybe it will help to ease my aches a bit too. Well, not going to type too much today, can barely see what I'm typing with the way my head is right now. I'll be back next month to let you know how I'm doing.
God Bless,
Sheryl