On November 21st, 2007 I had my reconstruction done. I had my left breast reconstructed and Dr. Mancoll took my skin from my stomache and created my breast with that. He also took my tissue from my stomache and used that to create my new breast so I got a tummy tuck too! While he was doing this he found that I had a hernia and he fixed it as well. I stayed a few days in the hospital and then went home. There was an opening on my stomache that didn't close correctly, he told me what this was called, but I can't remember what he said. There was also a section of "fat" that was above my stomache that didn't go away. He told me he would close the opening and then liposuction the stomache to make it more even. He was also going to lift the right breast at this time. So we made an appt. for March 21st to have this all completed.

During this time I got a little depressed. I had this ugly opening in my stomache and things weren't going as I had hoped. My hubby and I talked about things, he has been really great with my feelings since being diagnosed with cancer and has been a true support for me. He hadn't realized how depressed I was feeling inside and tried to comfort me in telling me I was beautiful to him and he didn't even notice the opening on my stomache. We began talking and my feelings just came pouring out. I informed him that he hadn't seen my breasts since Nov. 2006 when I had my first surgery. He of course said he had since he helped me with the drains and the care of them after the surgeries. I told him, yes to help me, but not intimately had he seen them. I guess self conciously I wouldn't allow him to see them. I wasn't too comfortable with them so I hid them. That night however we did make love and him telling me how beautiful I was the entire time was the best feeling I had had in a very long time.

I tried to tell myself all this time that it was okay, but deep down I was depressed and keeping it all in. Then my menstrual cycle was acting up and I was bleeding like crazy about twice a month. Very heavy bleeding and just plain crazy. My gyenecologist wanted to do a cervical biopsy and an ultra sound of my uterus. So on March 7 my hubby had to have an operation to have a hernia fixed and then 3 days later I was going in for the ultra sound and biopsy. The ultra sound was a breeze, a little awkard, but easy. The biopsy I was so nervous and was shaking but all in all it went well too. I had some cramping with it but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. The test results came back clean, no cancer, but my uterine wall (lining) is very thick and this is why I have the heavy bleeding. After my surgery we will discuss my options for treating this.

In between all of this I find a lump under my right arm. Of course this freaks me out and I think here we go again. I go to see my surgeon and she informs me that it is a cebacous cyst. Non-cancerous and nothing too serious. She says that Dr. Mancoll can remove this when he does my surgery or she can stop in and remove it as well. Dr. Mancoll says that he can remove this and my chemo. port as well.

So March 21st I go in for my surgery to fix things. Dr. Mancoll is marking me with the marker and he says instead of just going in with liposuction he wants to reopen the incision I have and make sure that the bluge I have isn't something else. He can't feel the cyst under my arm and doesn't want to just start cutting unless he knows where it is. I too can't find the durn thing and he says that sometimes they disappear on their own. The surgery is an outpatient surgery and so I will be going home the same day. When I come out of surgery and wake up I am told that I had another hernia that he had to fix that and that my muscles are very weak. So I have to wear a binder around my stomache for 6 to 8 weeks and then have some physical therapy to strengthen them when I get healed.

I go home and do pretty well. I can't move by myself for the first 2 days and that is hard not to do. My hubby has to actually lift me from the bed so that I don't use my muscles in anyway. Talk about a pain. I have to walk bent over and use a walker too. I really feel old! I am not even 40 and I feel like I'm about 80.

So as of now I have another small opening on my stomache, very small compared to last time, I am wearing this binder that is so uncomfortable and squeezes everything inside together. My breasts are perky looking (I also have a small spot on my right breast that is slow at healing) but all in all I am handling it okay. I see my surgeon and of course the cyst is still there. She says we will keep an eye on it for now since it isn't bothering me and see how it does. I think I was nervous about the surgery and just couldn't find it before.

Today I get up and after about 10 minutes I notice my night gown is soaked. I am thinking I spilt something on it, but for the life of me can't think of what that could be. I go into the bathroom and find that not only is my night gown soaked, but my painties, pajama pants and binder are soaked too. There is the brownish liquid coming out like water from my incision. I am calm at first and start to clean it up. I can't stop the leaking and it is getting worse. It runs down my legs and everywhere and just won't stop. I grab a maxi pad and place that over the incision to hold it from going through my clothing. So now I am worried that I have an infection of some sort. I have to wait 2 hours before Dr. Mancoll's office opens up so in the meantime I keep refreshing the maxi pads since they are getting soaked. I get a hold of his nurse and she thinks it is old blood coming out. She says she will call my back after she talks to the doctor. She calls me back and he isn't too alarmed, it sounds like old blood that was just too much for my body to absorb and it is coming out, which is good, just a mess. They tell me what to look for and to keep an eye on it and I will go see him in the morning.

Well that is what has been going on lately and hopefully things will get better from here on out. I'll try to catch you all up next month. Thanks so much for the prayers!